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loving life on a hikeI struggle with the Christmas season for a number of reasons:

My mother died two weeks before Christmas.

My dad died two weeks after Christmas.

Being adopted, I don’t have the same sense of “family” as many of you have.  This is a hard one to explain; most likely only another adopted child would understand.

And because of the top three reasons, this is the season that I have cravings for alcohol, my own personal thousand-pound gorilla who is always waiting on the sidelines to kick my ass.

It’s really an interesting phenomenon for me. I look forward to the season because, well, there is this unexplainable atmosphere of love. However, I also dread it and am really quite relieved when it is all over and I can get back to my normal schedule and shed myself of whatever expectations I had during the holidays.

So today is December 27th, and if you listen very closely you’ll hear me breathing out a sigh of relief as the New Year approaches.  I made it through another Christmas without drinking. I made it through another Christmas without having an emotional meltdown.  Yep, it’s been a good Christmas. LOL

The good news is that I have it made in the shade. I didn’t sleep on a park bench over the holidays with a sheet of cardboard keeping the frost off of me. I didn’t have to come home to an abusive relationship.  I am surrounded by love and I have learned to love. I do not have creditors hounding me and I have exceptionally good health.  All in all my life is a good one and it will continue to be so as long as I get out of my own way and allow the goodness to flow unimpeded by my efforts. J

I’ll see you again on Monday. I’m not sure how much longer I’m going to do this blog.  I don’t know that it serves much of a purpose.  I like my Artistry With Words blog because that helps other writers. I loved doing my Alcoholism blog because, again, it helped people, so maybe I’ll resurrect that one and see if I can’t keep someone from drinking in 2014.

Have a great weekend.

Bill

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